You’re probably all aware of those silly metallic-colored balloons that are quite large and sometimes shaped into hearts or other silly shapes, saying “Happy Birthday” or “Get Well Soon” or whatever. This is the now-endangered species called the mylar balloon. Mylar is actually a polyester type material, the metallic part is an aluminum coating that is often applied. If you want to know what mylar is like without the aluminum, look at the seal on a yogurt container. That’s usually made of mylar too.

Apparently the fracas centers on the fact that when this aluminum coating tangles into power lines, the result is sometimes a power outage. Now, right now in Riverside it probably went over a hundred degrees today. It’s hot and I am definitely inside blasting the A/C to make it feel like eighty. I definitly would not appreciate a power outage. That would be… bad. If it was caused by a runaway balloon, I probably would not be happy about that.

But banning them is NOT the answer. Irresponsible handling is the problem, so what’s the answer?

Well, first off, did you actually know what a menace these innocent balloons actually were? I confess I’d never heard of this until now. I think if the public had merely been informed over the years “Be careful not to allow balloons to get loose, especially near power lines” people would have at least tried to be careful. Oh sure there would have been the usual malcontents letting them go on purpose, but that could have been handled as a penalty, perhaps one that would help defray the cost of repairing the outage.

First problem. California doesn’t like to think that people can do the right thing. No, we need a mandate!

The previous solution was a mandate that all such balloons be sold with a weight that would prevent it from flying high. Not a bad idea, if you’re stuck in the Mandate Illness System Syndrome. The problem was, the type of weight was never specified. Turns out, they were usually tied to lollipops or toys. Kids like my son love the challenge of a knot– off came the knot, out came the toy, and the balloon was free to do its will once again. Apparently this just didn’t help matters much. Or maybe the power companies were getting lazier. It’s kinda hard to tell. After all, I’d been of the impression that raptor strikes and high winds were bigger threats to the state power grid.

So along has come SB 1499.

Please join the legislative team in opposing this nanny-state legislation.